and then if you can remember

inner neat freak kicks in and before i know it,
spent the day reorganising stuff strewn about,
rediscovering Lancome Juicy Tubes,
unveiling and re-burying past letters and gifts
+years of vday presents = evidence of being a St. Nicholas girl! (:
blobs and splashes of pinks-and-reds.

missmissmiss the combined forces of open ultra girly-ness/ easy heart-to-hearts and conferences/ crazy holiday ideas.
time and time again,
i'm asking myself
do they have to go away?

took me a year to realise secondary years are really over.

Ever so sweet,
You make this seem,
The way things go..
It's not my fault.
And I'll miss,
I'll miss you so good..
All of those nights,
We lost our way back home

and so, to you..
And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you

And if I should ever go away
Well, then close your eyes and try to feel
The way we do today
And then if you can remember

hope you know you're still the best i ever had.
-

Ys ash; starcrossed (:
& msn 7.5! (yes im wols..)

off for dinner out.

\ tings ! hehe you called me again is it? i was looking at shuwei's blog (as usual, trying to track you down haha) and i suddenly miss you!!!! hurry come back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:c can't wait!!!!

many firsts

Sleeping awake and awake when I'm sleeping
I've got a dry kind of thirst, when drenched
On sunny days, all I can see is a shadow
And I'm not above being under

And I'm at the brink though I know that I'm empty
And I always hide when it's my turn to seek
My only belief is not to have faith in believing
Before I begin, I'm over

Broken off again
When I'm only not lonely when I'm lonely by myself
Always backtracked forward
Cause all in all, I'm disconnected

Quietly loud while noisily silent
Keep holding my breath when I'm trying to breathe
Swimming against all of the waves and the rapids
I only win when I'm losing

I just wanna live my life sedated
Cause I love driving myself away
Dysfunctionally sane, dont give a damn
I can't comprehend what I understand


-

havent stayed in on a Saturday for a long time!
but because of mixed up plans, here i am, legs outstretched, indoors with dark clouds looming ahead outside..

13 going on 30 - 3.5 popcorns
the notebook - 4.5 popcorns
chicago - 4 popcorns
the red shoes - 2.5 popcorns
oliver twist - 3 popcorns
just like heaven - 3.5 popcorns
prime - 4 popcorns ! (believe it or not)

i conclude that staying out or in too much just doesn't do my system any good
i get irritable, quiet, depressed or stony.
yea, maybe i'm weird but it's good to
strike a balance!
i feel better already.!

mom's cooking on a Saturday and i'm eating in! (:
feel the lurveee
hee.
rightt. before i get overly chirpy.

/ tings girlllll..check your mail! misses <3333
steph how i know..i cldnt believe jayzz had a song abt fruit tree soursop too whattt..can't wait for ep05!!

sun dippin'

yay! new layout again!
fickle ol' me.
haha.
anyway my summersmile looks so odd! can anyone help me fix that?
-eyes jyingzz hopefully
hahah

so anywayy
went tanning w Phi (:
i crown today the most productive tanning sesh ever!
yes, to the extent that i blacked out for a while
HAHA
freakyyyy.
Stocks thanks for taking care of me! and everything else <333
(i'm Ms. Papillio!) Notebook soon!

charm pls do take care! and i don't care, i know you're wearing long dresses!

**this post is posted merely to push the previous queer post down haha.

no hero in her sky.

haagen dazs, apple tea (with milk), endless walks around river (and bars belting out karaoke hits), thai dishes, chitchats .. (: <3 c.

da it IS like saying Paris Hilton is fat. and it IS killing me.

have you ever felt like..
okay i really shouldnt even bother trying.
it's so frustrating though.

you know, like you have a world of words revolving but for some uncanny reason, you're dumb and the words are just stringing around your mouth in silence and all the pent up frustration is building up and you're at the edge of bursting but you can't do anything cos you're..dumb.

okay am i making sense?
and yes, handicapped situation occurs to some people..
why of all people, with you?
it's never right.

and steph, it will NEVER, EVER, happen, cos how do you find such an amazing person that links you up and at the same time perks you over?? it's impossible. it's logic defying. and stop ordering Mac's at 12:47A.M! TSKK! but i want shaker fries too ):

dinah, WHAT'S WRONG WITH MSN 6.0!

hey ladies drop it down ; says:
dynamic wallpaper is damn fun. the things can move and i like talking to you cos the wallpaper makes me happy

how could you..!
but i like talking to you too
and it's NOT cos the wallpaper makes me happy!
it's cos..you're getting it.
THANKS! i was so urghhhhh.

-

GRR!
>:Z


it's ebbing away, we're running out of gas.


im freezing.
AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY TAGBOARD?!
i would love to make it right..if only i knew how.!
grr!

candy and collagen @ isetan

haha okay i kinda like this layout so i shall just leave it alone for a while
though its highly claustrophic and a tad depressing as compared to my previous quirky one..

and its the first time i ripped it off someone else!

hrmm. is there sth wrong with my tagboard? why are the words in the box white suddenly?! grr.

okay anyway its been really rainy
nice to sleep in (:

so sorry tings! hahah been sleeping through all your calls! haha nissin tom yam is an essential yes. shouldve sent more over..anyway how many weeks more?!?

though this weather is just impossible to tan in
shall live with winter whiteness then..

phi, so much for TT :
ree glad your first day went well! :D

some eye candy..




In the car, I just can't wait
To pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm just scared of what you think.
You make me nervous so I really can't eat

When you smile, I melt inside
I'm not worthy for a minute of your time
I really wish it was only me and you
I'm jealous of everybody in the room
Please dont look at me with those eyes
Please dont hint that your capable of lies
I dread the thought of our very first kiss
A target that I'm probably gonna miss

cute (:

right, am off! meeting charmgal00 ltr, hoho (:

-

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

looking for a little sweetness

Lately I can't be happy for no one
They think I need some time to myself
I try to smile but I can't remember
And I know tomorrow there'll be nothing else

incomprehensively so.
must be the pms.

nothing is fair,
-nods.

please can you tell me,
so i can finally see

rediscovering michelle branch, haha.


irajgiojadjgktr.


tings SO SORRY. was tutoring when you called jst now..how many weeks again..? ):

sick cycle carousel

PHI,
TT please !
and RR ?
and THANKS for everything, you're the sweeeetesttt. :D


so this is where inferiority seeps in through the cracks and crevices where insecurity seeps through
wave goodbye to silly grins.
it wontttt go away..


poor poddie has died ):
accidentally plopped into the sauna..sighhh.
hope the apple people won't discover how i mistreated my poddie and replace one for me


well.
-bares fangs.
moody.

the killers ; all these things i have done

I MISS ST NICKSSSSS !!
sigh.
met the others today..
maybe it was hardly palpable to the rest,
but i felt really warm inside (:
awww.

yins, thanks for the nice little talk
and the photo taking sesh
and dinah mr sijia, TENNIS MATCH was WOOHOO huh :D
hahah.
okay we were jst bouncing the ball to each other
and they laughed at my lousy ball sense!
but! i improved with time!
and yins was busy knitting away hahah so cute please.


and and
i feel really awful
but i dont know what to say..
helpless at the sidelines, yes.
sorry in advance :

p/s. jacob liaw sucks. HAH.

and so it is.

ree. says:
i cant wait!
-zooms off to shit

HAHA.
<3

(please don't kill me)


i watched the Tang Quartet today!
not exactly an enthusiast in this genre..
butttttt
was quite nice (:

clarke quay coffeeshops seem yummyyy
must go explore one day
(and not get lost)

Friends is just too sweeeeeet..
when Chandler proposed to Monica (though i would say they proposed to each other)
was ohmygod.
the portrayal of close-knit friends
being there when it happened, being there when it didnt happen,
happened because of them, didnt happen because of them
just basically through everything!
it gets you crying and laughing.


tings something wrong with the connections just now! phone kept hanging when you called and couldnt asnwer! :( sorry girlll. anyway haunted elizabeth sounds good enough, misssssssssss you.


it's never enough.

i just wanna sit and stare at you

YAY today's uber happy day with Phi
our retail therapy days (:
everything came in a pair and caused a headache, haha
almost stuffed a dress in a coat so that other people won't see it HAHA

anyway stephcheong your WB and matchboxtwenty+iris cool dude is too much
PLUS your airpork?!?!??!
why my class dont have!
hoho ;)

ystd watched Em Rose!
different angle / take from the Exorcist..
more meaningful, i'd say..
err then played awfulbadlousyihate pool
haha

dinah, i hope your dad's fine.. (:

random, but
don't you just hate it when drivers honk at you??
the green man was shining, obviously i have the right to cross
and the driver had the nerve to mid-swerve and honk at me cos i was in his way while i was happily messaging
and and at another occasion, another driver honked when i was crossing the zebra crossing at a perfectly normal pace!
what the hell..people need to be more patient.
and we thought safety was paramount.



okay another lame quizzzzz.

1. The road represents your attitude towards falling in love.

You chose the short road--you fall in love quickly and easily.

2. The number of red roses represents how much you give in a
relationship, while the number of white represents what you
expect in return.

You give 10% and expect 90% in return.

3. This question represents your attitude towards handling
relationship problems.

You like to get the person yourself--you are a more direct
person and like to work out problems immediately.

4. The placement of the roses determines how much you like to see
your boy/girlfriend.

You want to place the roses on the bed--you like to see him/her
a lot.

5. This represents your attitude towards his/her personality.

You prefer the person to be asleep--you love the person as the
way s/he is.

6. The road to home tells how long you stay in love with someone.

You chose the longer road--you will tend to stay in love for
a long time.


OH. ALMOST FORGOT..
the stupidsweetie is deeply missed (and yins+qing too! :)
dont secretly..openly tag me please! tskk!
<3

move along

tings missed you, girlll. am back to reading Someone Like You. remember Halley and Macon Faulkner? :)


gorged YUMMY longtong and nasi lemak and endless chilli tapioca and sweet cornflakes at Mat's (we all had like, 3 helpings)
then lazed around, took overly-formal pics..
we're all growing fattt.

getting unhigh on 4% and 5% lime and ice hahah.
first half was good
food facts found in magazines very enlightening !
but i forgot all about what i learnt, haha (and jyingz, what was it that you wanted?!?!? brilliant plan to con me very unbrilliant indeed..)
sitting around at Border's Children Designated Seating Area = wheeee-ness.

so we're looking at two toysrus employees
deer's ears on head and zooming around the store in under-sized toy car (not fighting with kids over bears pls!)
heels for 3 days = killer !
Tom Yam at good ol' Bishan with Ree was nice :) (did you know newly-renovated Bishan MRT station has huge built-in Guardian?!?)

Christmas lights in town are just fab. puts you in the mood! though a tad too red..where's the green? maybe Christmas could be blue-and-silver..

people generally are..i dont really get it.
can't read you,
at least know that we tried.
so i'll just..stay out of the way.

off to meet the Chanmalis soon
toodles'

outline of a storyboard

yesyes, lame things i do in the middle of the night..morning (??) in the midst of watching oc season 3, hahah. so far it's been really good..touching, even at the first episode! favourite season so far among all three!

You Can Hang With the Guys and the Girls

You've struck a good balance between girlie and laid back. You can keep it casual but when you dress up, you are as girly as the next girl.

How Girlie Are You?

Your Reputation Is: Shy Girl

You've done pretty well in keeping your reputation protected.. Problem is, no one really knows who you are!

What's Your Reputation?

ER. OHKAY.

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds. You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life. Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Your Fashion Style is Classic

You like what's stood the test of time... Simple, well styled clothes that don't scream trendy You stay updated and modern, but your clothes stay in style for a while You wouldn't be caught in animal prints, fake fur, or super bright colors

What's Your Fashion Style?

okay..this lame activity has to end..back to oc..
toodles'

it takes courage

moving on to mildly related topics,
would you smile, or would you frown?

okay trigger point slightly too gargantuan..

hum-drum.. then, struck

stumbled upon, gained access to and was privy to a slice of my certain friend's innermost being..
and gasp,
there is so much more,
so much more.
(extreme, and not negligibly sparse)
i was just there, you know?

i cant believe i didnt know.

all the mind boggling questions,
but it's dawned upon me that all that doesn't matter.
the annonymity, the facade (deliberate or otherwise), the sworn secrecy (or maybe just coincidental failure to resurface), really doesn't matter.

i've learnt that
staying true to yourself sometimes,
is really really all that matters.
im proud of, and glad for you (:
now i know what the answer is, no matter what people say.

(..but generally, is it spontaneous ability met with stifled expressionism? maybe being upfront just doesn't do any good. but does everything have to benefit? here we are, blessed with the gift to do so, but its impossiblity questions the very existence of it at all. okay i shall not digress..okay this public incoherent monologue sesh has to end before any more quizzical eyebrows are raised..)


okay randomly,
yz! jiang! anybody! i want JayZZ! (secret, still. haha)

If I told you a secret
You won't tell a soul
Will you hold it and
Keep it alive

Cause it's burning a hole
And I can't get to sleep
And I can't live alone
In this life

So look up, take it away
Don't look down
The mountain

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return
Anyone, anything, anyhow

So take me, don't leave me
Take me, don't leave me
Baby, love will come through
It's just waiting for you

And you stand at the crossroads
Of highroads and lowroads
And I've got a feeling
It's right

If it's real what I'm feeling
There's no make believing
The sound of the wings
Of the flight

Of a dove, take it away
Don't look down
The mountain

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return
Anyone, anything, anyhow

So take me, don't leave me
Take me, don't leave me
Baby, love will come through
It's just waiting for you


L word was very 4 popcorns! minus the porn at some extreme points..
out today with Ree
bakin' boys was ..!!
marshemllow + melt-in-your-mouth chocolate = double joyyyyyy.
swore my face was ballooning and now its too round for my own good! :c
anyway
anyone has ingram hill's more than a feeling send to me please?

teehee

a lil late but, here's us, at sammiekin's bday long ago, and also in school.. (:
most of the pictures look really strange cos of resizing but what the hell haha



jiang doing some strange things to me (i had a balloon stuck in my blouse..pretending to be pregnant!) | happiness at dontknwwhat | me+charm at coffeebean (pre-promos mugging days!) | sam me jiang charm | everybody at sam's bday | attempt of a gay shot with poor sam



line of bright lights | cuteeee sam bombarded with balloons! | charm me nette with c's board for sam | me grinning happily (jiang made me put the balloons on) | again, yz and i with the coloured blobs | L.O.V.E



sparkled us | charm me nette jiang (they bluffed me! supposed to do retarded face) | aww conjoined hearts, me and nette. L.O.V.E | twirling in the sparkles.


-


and my gbk's gone cos it was wayyy too sec3 and embarassing but signmyguestbook still hates me and i couldnt sign in at all so i got a .. tagboard! so tagtagtag me!

rightt am off to get ready and meet the others..

happenstance


THREE RANDOM FACTS BY ME

3. the new bathing foam mom bought smells really nice but i wonder what is goat milk doing in it?
2. best friends can telepathy each other..maybe you can teleport over?
1. i realise its rachael yamagata and not rachel! and the album is the prettiest ive ever seen..so i HAD to buy it (plus it was on sale)



TWO RANDOM FACTS BY MY MOM

2. talking on my mobile for 2 hours odd can cause brain cancer or a burst a blood vessel
1. my hair is growing thick and bushy, i ought to go cut hair with her (this is coming from the same woman who could not tell the difference when i went from all-pulled-back neatness to kid with bangs)



ONE RANDOM FACT BY THE SICK ONE

1. a 39 degree fever in the middle of the night can cause death in one's sleep! :O

that this was not your dream,
but you've always believed in me

im oh-so smart..
left my specs at nana's place
and one side of my contacts tore while it was in my eye (?!?!)
so now im half-blind 24/7
hanging on to what's left of my vision..haha

anywayy
i second dinah,
newsroom was funnn!
though the music was reallyyyyy bad.
and so squashed up, there was a point where we couldnt move at all.
but getting high makes you so unaware.

with empty stomach,
went to nana's place..
we were all just croaking about. (charm's croaks were the worst. thou shalt ne'er mock my manly voice at night anymore!)
washed my hair thrice to get the smoke out.
and to think that sabrina wee wanted to sleep in!
:
watched Closer..
was really good!
dedicate 4 popcorns for its emo-ness..
then had a slight tan..
weather was good,
perfect to laze around in and talk aimlessly..


what is it with all the emotions..
its insecurity i cant stand
but i am insecure myself.


and i know i dont feel it now
but it will sink in,
only a matter of time.


oh, and..
please stop being so smug.
that was all so yesterday..
stop it already..
i look at you now and wonder what was it then,
cos now i see nothing.